Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Facebook and nurturing?

I like the idea of intentionality regarding involvement of parents in confirmation. We easily become hung-up (and perhaps it's a good thing) on 'laying down the law.' But I don't think it is asking too much of parents to understand that placing a child in a confirmation class comes with expectations, one of which is that the child and family become actively involved in the worship life of the congregation.

However, the idea that worship is important is something a person has to grasp before becoming parents. And so we enter a chicken and egg argument. If teens are nurtured spiritually and socially in a caring community of faith, then there is a better chance they will bring that to bear on their parenting.

To bring the blog back on topic, I have to then ask how do we use social media as a nurturing vehicle? Can we keep connections warm online with the goal being a regular physical presence at church at some point ? We know that an app like Facebook crosses generational lines, albeit for differing reasons. What would something like that look like?

The current mindset has little time for 'institutions.' Is it possible for a church, as an institution to bring together a community online. Or does it all boil down to one-to-one relationships in which the love of Christ shines through? I believe those kind of relationships are much more important in a social network community, and I've seen it happen on my own Facebook wall.

In any endeavour, we have to remember that those whom the Lord has called His own through baptism are still part of the family–some more active than others. We aren't called to do 'programs,' we are called to live our life in Christ so that all we do and say will bring glory to Him. How the Holy Spirit uses us is not our concern, but shouldn't we be willing to use whatever means we have at hand to build relationships for the sake of the Gospel?

5 comments:

Michael Schutz said...

This has been a great series of posts, Ian. Lots to think about and good comments too.

I also think it's a both-and - confirmation needs to hit parents just as much as (if not more than) the kids. (Isn't it ironic that we've gotten to this state in the Lutheran church that so highly values the catechism which wasn't written for churches to teach kids with...) As others have said, if churches are only concerned about retaining kids, I think we've missed most of the point.

So how can social media help? I think it can help in many ways. (And I choose the word "help" very intentionally - it's a help and supplement to face-to-face ministry, not a replacement for it.) Text message kids with reminders of events/classes and with random notes just to keep in touch. Have a private Facebook group and/or a private area on a church's own web site for the families in the class where they can discuss/ask questions/research/prayer request/whatever. Take cues from Michael Wesch's Digital Ethnography classes at Kansas State University and give assignments to create collaborative YouTube videos on a particular topic. (And then talk about why it should be on YouTube and not GodTube-or-whatever-it's-called-now...talking about mission and being in-but-not-of the world!)

The options are almost endless. As a start to my church's use of Facebook, I invited a bunch of folks to a group (which was also open to everyone), and then for a month, posted a link each day to a chapter of Matthew online, and invited people to read and comment. I provided very little commentary and just kept it going and got involved in conversation. It was great.

But how much better could it be if that kind of thing was woven together with the worship themes/confirmation curriculum/small group studies/etc.? There's so much we could be doing to reinforce relationships! We just need to start thinking in more holistic and integrated ways, not separate and fractured ways.

Ok, I'll stop now. :) But there's so much here to chew on...

Kelly Klages said...

There are all sorts of beneficial ways to use technology to communicate with people. One snag that I keep running into with technology is how intimidated adults sometimes do try to actually replace a real relationship with a virtual one, or with a program. First, they are led to believe that if they are not technologically as "on top of things" as their kids (and who is?) that they can't really communicate with them. So this job, instead of being on the parents and congregation as a whole, gets shunted off onto the "professional church worker" or "the young person doing youth leading."

The same happens with contemporary services. People will come up to the pastor and say, "We should start a contemporary service and then the youth will stick around." That's a dream. First, the adults bringing this up usually don't have the tech capabilities of doing anything that they're imagining will "impress" kids, so once again it becomes about bringing in outside professionals to impress our kids for us. Using a church service this way only serves to further widen the generation gap, sequestering youth off into their own little club where we adults don't have to deal with them. In reality, youth would love to be treated like adults and to be integrated into *our* world, but it seems that adults are just largely afraid of talking to them.

The last poster on the previous thread was right, too-- regardless of style considerations, youth are not going to be impressed if the adults they see around them don't seem to care about worship. So considering the critical role of parenting in all this, and the chicken-and-egg issue, at what point can we start building people up? One encouraging sign in one of our churches is that parents who are bringing their children to be baptized are in some cases also bringing one of the parents into church membership for the first time. They are studying God's Word together and getting more into it. Here's a prime way to build some links between young families and really drive home the importance of starting your young family off with good habits. Providing resources like books, or whatever kind of discussion board or tech thing people might be interested in, could be useful too.

Anonymous said...

I'd see the social site as a vessel to allow everyone (including the teens) a place to voice their opinions, questions, and concerns. And to keep them updated on current events...
(ie: how about more concerts, plays, films, talent shows... created by the congregation members?)
Which would bring the physical presence factor into effect.

Captain Thin said...

Kelly mentions briefly at the end of her comment the use of a "discussion board." I think there's something to be said for that idea. I recall that in one instance in my first year of university, we had a class where students didn't really feel comfortable speaking out in class. Most of the students didn't know each other (at least not very well) so there wasn't a foundational relationship of trust between prof and students, nor between students and other students.

Things began to change, however, when the professor introduced a discussion board into the course. At least once a week, students were required to post on the message board, commenting on some aspect of that week's classes. As time progressed, students began to comment beyond the minimum required amount and have actual discussions on a variety of topics; they were now engrossed in the material, and with the discussions surrounding it. And this online interaction was paralleled in the actual classroom. People became very animated and engaged. And so it was, digital media fostered the growth of real-life relationships. Kind of what we're hoping for in this whole discussion, no?

The Layman said...

Our children are watching. They may not see the church connection in their life as much as we would like to see them relate, but they are watching. As a youth I was proud of the LCMS heritage that was passed on to me, however I assume my youthful mind thought I had a few more mistakes to make ....before I got serious about repentance and forgiveness. Each generation see their values in a different light, but as that generation ages it refills the pews and the spoken WORD brings them back to serve their Lord,